Yes, i think i'll answer my own question. Yes.
Anyways, i was talking to AngeloAkaBamBamAkaPowerfulB, and he randomly told a story about Van Gogh's Death. And i was like, "This is awkwardly random." So supposedly the story goes, Van Gogh is in a shack next to a solitary road, and he's doing his painting thing.
And the story skips around, because i guess it's a weird train-of-thought-type-dealie. And the last person to witness Van Gogh sees him in his solitary shack while he's painting. And the person, who happens to be a farmer, is just cruising along in his mule/steed-driven carriage/cart, and he hears a gunshot. Apparently, the farmer goes back to the shack and sees Van Gogh f/ bullet wound in chest, caused by Vannie Pack himself. But there are more paintings around. Strange, i think to myself. He shoots himself in order to go into crazy survivalist "need-to-get-my-ideas-out" mode? And achieves it. Supposedly.
And i think to myself, out loud, so that Bam can hear.
"I wonder what it's really like to witness yourself dying."
Wouldn't you really become ridiculously hectic and chaotic in trying to get all of your ideas and fancies and images in your brain out onto your creative canvas? i mean, i follow a totally different venue, but i truly wonder...
What happens if i contract some rare disease in my spleen that's slightly impossible to remove via modern technology? What will i do/achieve/strive for?
Can'tremovethisdiseaseinmyspleenitis.
That'd be a great name for the disease that i contract, because i'd be so rare that i'd be comparable to Charizard. Take that secondary Pokemon market. I bust the value on giant reptilian flame-breathing flying draconic lizards.
That was redundant.
Yeah, that was redundant.
So anyways. I thought to myself again, out loud so Bam could hear.
"I think i'd get you like...twenty dollars worth of Taco bell. That'd be interesting, right? You could remember all the great times we had when we had irresistible urges for something spicy, cheesy, crunchy...
"And hmmm, i think i would get PCS a blank book, but fill it halfway with writings of my life, because i know that she'd be able to fill the other half in. She knows me that well.
"And Metro...doesn't know me as well as PCS so i'd get her a blank book but tell her to write things for me so that i can read important things about life before i lose mine.
"I would give Michelle that scrapbook that she put on me to do, thinking i would never do it. Well, since i would be dying, i'd have/take the time to put my all into it. How's that for closure? Or i would just get her shoes, and tell her that was for the year that you made amazing in my life, and would remind her how amazing of a person she really is.
"I would give J(e)an a camera so that she'd be able to see life through a looking glass the way i do, allowing her to view the world in a different lens, a different sight seeing what her days would be like; What her daily life would be like, what she does that might seem mundane and what she sees creatively.
"I would leave my Macbook with either Jojo or Mikey and leave a single note on the Desktop, with nothing else on the facade. And it would say,
"I want you guys to look through my music collection. I want you guys to be able to witness my taste in music and hopefully i'll have left behind that feeling on your guys' tongues of music, hoping to touch you guys through music, since you have touched me through your movements through music.
"I would leave behind a miniscule memoirs for the light-hearted life that i would've left, hoping to leave small thumbprints in everyone's life that i've touched, rather than just a subtle brush of your soft surface of life.
"And of course, John, i can't say what i would actually leave you, because i plan on not dying soon enough to show you in person."
All of that came from the story of Van Gogh's Death. Interesting.
Almost Stranger Than Fiction. Oh, watch that movie. It's a beautiful take on the use of death in order to create a moving force of emotion. And it's also a message of selflessness and acceptance that all of us will die eventually. Which is why i think i'm writing this. Because i've accepted that thought we may be blessed with life on our birthdays, you still share that day with someone that has either lived or died that exact same day.
Tangentrines are Stranger Than Fiction. Pumpkin. Seattle. heh...
Forever Strange,
Matt.A
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