Wow. What the crap...

Holy jeez. The last time i blogged was 11/11/08. What the crap?
It's freaking 12/29/08 already. That's almost New Year's Time! Shit.
It's been more than a month since i last came upon something worth writing about.

That's fairly pathetic.
Well to all those who truly read my blogs, and wished that i wrote more:
Here it is. I'm fucking writing again. Happy? Good.
There's a little satire injected in every sarcastic word. Today, at least.

I wanted to play Magic today. Instead, i get my roast beef sandwich, with mashed potatoes and gravy tossed on me.

Let me explain. I'm in a club, or game i suppose, called the Sandwich Club.

Hehe. The first rule of the sandwich game/club is,

Don't talk about the sandwich game/club.

The second rule is. If you get "Sandwich Clubbed," you can't get mad.
unfortunately, i guess someone forgot that rule and after i "Sandwich Clubbed" their Roast Beef Sandwich, which was fucking amazing mind you, they tossed my tray on top of me.

Lucky for him, or me, or whoever else was in the vicinity, my temper ranges from complacent to downright maniacal, but i actually decided to let it go this time. Despite me wearing my new American Eagle shirt, i merely laughed it off. Yes, i was covered in mashed potatoes and gravy. The gravy actually was still very much hot and it ended up scalding my chest. However, the situation of me actually being covered in my own lunch was so hilarious that i ended up not being all too mad.

I'm just really upset because my girlfriend won't talk to me on the phone. I'm having a fair bit of trouble just keeping her on the phone with me, and i feel like she's avoiding me like the plague, because she's got other, more important things to do. But whatever. She can call me when she damn well wants to because i'm not going to fold after such a shitty day. She had better call me however, because i have been waiting damn near a WEEK to fucking talk to her, let alone see her. I'm fucking lonely and i'll admit it, Gosh DAMNIT. Sonuvagun. She's been saying all this shit like, "oh i forgot to call you," or "I'm busy, can i call you back?"

WELL I"VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO FRICKING CALL ME BACK SO CAN YOU DO IT, PLEASE!?

maybe i'm just talking out of my ass because i'm pissed off at the whole fucking world right now, but i'd very much like to talk to someone...or anyone.

One week already?

Left: I swear, the picture was NOT all about me. Despite me taking up 2/3rds of the frame. We were just sticking to the thirds rule of photography....o.O?

So We've been together for a week. Needless to say, it's been a freaking great week. November 4th was the first day of my awesome week. And seven days later, i'm still happy. That's not a very long while, true, but it's been the happiest seven days i've had in a very VERY long while, so i want to appreciate them for everything that they're worth. Let's start with the morning shall we...?

Today, i woke up and, by force of habit, i looked at the iPhone lying next to my face and tapped phone and touched "Bae!" to call Elizabeth. She answers sleepily and i finally look at the time, which displays 8:38, to the appeasement of Liz. She had woken up a few minutes earlier to her flashing alarm clock and i woke up to...my internal clock ticking? I have no idea. Anyways, i tell her that i'll get ready in a few hours and see her after class. She has a break from 11:45AM to 4:30PM. Yeah, fairly substantial break. So i spend the morning assuaging my uneventful morning by painting a Munny. It's still in the works so i won't describe it yet. But meh, i was trying to get to 11:45 with something to do. Despite it being a holiday, CRC decided to take their holiday yesterday which makes it not Veterans day on campus. Psshaw. However, Liz calls and tells me that her class at 1030 is canceled so i hot-step it on out of the house as soon as i was finished getting ready. And by getting ready i mean, eating, then playing Magic Online for an hour and a half, then taking a quick shower, then breaking for like two seconds, then getting gas and finally driving to CRC.

I get to CRC and we conversate with people until i decide that we should check out the dying star that is the failing Mervyn's near-ish CRC. The whole time driving i tell her that she looks pretty. Meanwhile, she is fussing with her hair because it is upsetting her that it is not the way she wants it to be. I still think she's freaking pretty. We do a little shopping in Mervyn's, i get a pair of Levi's and we talk about being hungry. She eggs me on to finish and just buy the jeans that i've been holding for twenty minutes. I ask her if she likes shopping and she says yes. *Shifty eyes* Lolz. So i eventually stop shopping like a girl and we get outta there. We see Janelle and her boyfriend on the way out and i intro Liz to Janelle and she tells me that she thinks Janelle is pretty. Then i inform her that her and i used to go out...Yeah that was totally the "not awkward" thing to say. STUPID. I then defuse the situation by reminding her that she's totally pretty and not insecure at all. ;3

Right: I totally plant one on her and she writhes in disgust because she realizes that the camera is online. Or maybe it's because i'm kissing her cheek. I don't know which one caused the scrunching of the face.

Meh. So we're in the car and i ask her whether she's been to Mikuni's before. Of course she has, you fool. Lolz. So i take her to Mikuni's and remind her while we're waiting for space that it's the 11th and, therefore, seven days since we first went official. She smiles, i smile, and we both smile.

Left: This is the random beeper that they give to you when you're waiting because it's totally inconvenient to just say that you have space so come over here so we can give it to you. Oh wait, they didn't even light up the beeper ANYWAYS because they DID yell out my name. Oh well...So much for customer consideration?

So yeah, we eventually get our seats and we're talking about how happy she makes me. She is seriously a super-duper-joy-causer. I'm not sure how gay that sounded but she does make me very, very joyful. We have a chef named Andrew when we sit at the bar. He's cheerily having a conversation with the guy next to us, who is, strangely, speaking in a different language. Perhaps Japanese? I have no clue. What i do know is that i didn't understand him. The waiter came and told us that we could order now, like i totally didn't already know that. So i order Liz and i a Peter 2 roll and a Train Wreck, which coincidentally is what she wanted. We talk about how fast this week has gone by and how our relationship feels like we've been together for a long time. There is a word for that, bae, and that word is Comfortable. :D

We get our food and have a grand old time with the sushi. She concedes to me that she likes my pick better (Go Peter 2!). It's funny watching her eat because the pieces are really big, perhaps too big for her mouth? Furthermore, it's even funnier because she is slightly inept at chopstick usage. ;3 And even more, we get Miso soup and it's too hot for her! Oh, POOR baby!

Left: Elizabeth, aka Bae, is having some trouble with her Miso soup. Seriously, she took like five minutes taking this first sip and i got to center the picture, make it my background, take it off my background, take another picture of the same scene, then make THAT my new wallpaper. That is serious babe.

She was seriously in some trouble when she tried to take a sip of the Miso. Like she looked like she was trying to figure out which way to take a sip because, as she confessed beforehand, she doesn't drink soup from the bowl, only with a spoon. So i suppose that it's fair that she feels awkward about going headfirst into a bowl of Miso. xD She even called me out when i poured soy sauce into mine. But it's ok, for i am a weird person with strange tastes. So midway through our meal, i start to go paparazzi on our plates of unfinished rolls. Here is the product of my mayhem:


Left:This is Lizzy's side of the Sushi bar. As you can see it is tidy and space is being taken up by the platter of Train Wreck. And of course my hand is rooming in with the Miso soup adjacent to the Platter of Train Wreck.






Right: And of course, this is my side of the Bar. Meh. Sloppy and unkempt. Random plates of soybeans and a platter of eaten Ebi tails. At least the smeared sauces look tantalizing, even after they've been partially eaten. The Miso soup is once again encroaching on the platter's space. Peter 2 Platter PARTY!





Left: This is Liz, once again taken due to her inability to go gung-ho on her Miso. She does a little giggle while i take the picture because i blew on it so now it's no longer hot due to my crazy Iceman powers. Take that, heat, I'm cool like Jack Frost.





So a lot of mayhem ensues and we drive back to CRC. I've got class at 215 however and i rush into class after she walks me to the auditorium. I get out at 3 because i just want to see her and we go to a barbecue at my friend, Boog,'s house. There are people playing NBA 2k9 and supposedly the Kings rock out against the Cavaliers in a nail biter. There's chicken and rice and a whole bunch of other meats, and even some vegan love because i spot a Gardenburger box. Empty too. So i regret to inform them that we just ate and are going back to class because Liz has a class at 430, which i then escort her to. I meet up with her after my 530 class, which gets out at 7; unfortunately she also has a class at 7, so i rush out of class to meet her. We have a little chat before i take her to her last class.

I tell her that she makes me ridiculously happy and i'm lucky to be with someone like her. Too bad that also sounds like a line to her and tells me about her past. I retort back with some, "Then i won't be like those guys then, will i?" I also state that we're going to be together for a really long time, and she says oh really? YES REALLY! I can really see myself with her for a very long time. She makes me happy, and she understands my needs and wants. She's an amazing, beautiful, woman whom i would be glad to spend many days with just chatting and walking, hand-in-hand, as the sun sets or rises or is just high in the air. I am very, very happy.

Happy one week bae!
-Matt.Abero

One of the Best Days in a while?

Election Day, November 4th, was a very great day for me.
Obama was elected with a landslide victory of 364 electoral votes to McCain's 162.
I got to eat sushi with Eevee.




I got to eat Tacos (Taco Tuesday FTW) with Eevee.






I got to ask Eevee out.











I got to go to class late, with the only consequence being that i had to sit front and center of the auditorium and i was taken photos of with a flash, then those pictures were cast across a screen in front of the class. I tried to take a picture of the picture but it was extremely dark in that auditorium. I looked like a creepy pedophile, and i had just kissed Eevee, so my lips had an awkward sheen that the professor pointed out, as well as the sheen coming from the oil on my nose. Thanks prof. On the bright side, i didn't stop smiling.

I got to spend a lot of time with Eevee that day, even skipping English class to just stay in the car with her and talk about the past and about life in general and what her favorite things were.
I got to have a tickle fight w/ Eevee. I won. She let me win.
I got to talk to John about life, crammed into the span of ten minutes (15 whatever.)
I got to breakdance that day with Exclusive. I love sessioning with my crew. They're my other other family.

So basically, i'm no longer single, Obama was elected president, and i'm excited for the change that is going to happen in my life. I'm no longer really looking to the past for what i need to do anymore. Now i can just let things happen...spontaneously.
Like this.

Halloween is FreeCandyDay

My iPhone is dead, so i'm going to post my thoughts on Halloween, but without pictures, unfortunately.

I spent the day working from 7-3:30pm. I was Dave, from the Office. Jim was Dave for Halloween. Enough said.

I left promptly at 3:30 because i was excited to go trick or treating. There were actually a lot of festive state workers in the building. There was a Druid lady in the elevator as i went to go get a donut. There was a ballerina on the 10th floor. And of course, I was the only dressed up one on my floor. Everyone else on my floor was a disgruntled state worker. Fairly good costumes, i think.

I left the building and saw no other people dressed up. Just some kids with their parents who had their costumes on already, waiting for the nighttime so they could celebrate Free Candy Day.

I saw a guy riding his bike with Red Spiky hair and piercings. I guess it's totally rad when you're 20, but fucking pathetic when you're 33.

I get home and my brother is not in the mood to go receive free candy. I tell him its a Celebration of Free Candy! How can you NOT be in the mood?

I eventually talk him into it after thrashing him in some heads-up Poker. Fair enough. He's 11. I'm old.

I go upstairs and talk to Liz about plans for Halloween night. We're going to take the kids trick-or-treating around 6 or 7ish. We text for a while then Joseph says that he doesn't have a costume. OH SNAP.

I rummage around his room looking for some hope of awkward clothing choices in order to find a costume. I find a small white T shirt and a suit jacket. I guess he's going to be Michael Jackson (?).

We meet up with Elizabeth and do some crazy Trick-or-treating with her siblings/cousins and it rains on us semi-frequently. But i guess that doesn't stop people from wanting their Free Candy. The only thing that did prevent us from getting candy was...the houses running out of candy by 8:30ish. Meh.

At least i got to spend time with Liz and her family. And Joseph. Overall, a pretty hectic night, but well worth the effort spent. Free candy fills my heart. And so does Liz. ;D

Speaking of Liz, she's the light of my life right now. I'm happy to have her and i can't wait until she's really mine. I haven't been this happy in a while. Kind of reminds me of "Stuttering" by Ben's Brother. Look that up when you get the opportunity. Imeem.com works wonders.

;D
Keep Smiling,
Matt.Abero

My heart is full right now.

Some good times have arrived in my life.
Breakdancing is good to me right now, and it's made my heart full with happiness.

I mean, that playlist i was working on to the right really had me jumping for joy. I literally hopped out of my seat and danced. Dancing is fun to do when there's no one around because you can be who you want to be. Seriously. My heart is so full right now.

Despite me going through some weird times, i'm having good ones too. This is really strange(r than fiction). But, i think that i'm out of my slump.

Wow. I said it. I'm out of my slump. I'm no longer in a deep valley with no end in sight. The drum and bass beats really make my heart beat. BEAT BEAT BEAT!

Go and be merry people! Let your heart out of your chest and GO!
Let things happen! Let spontaneity get the best of you!
Make your life better! Make everything better!

Ok, enough optimism, i'm going to finish this stupid paper.
Thanks for reading my offbeat blog.

-Matt.Abero

That would be referred to as, "Shitty."

My car was "SMOKIN'!"
And by "SMOKIN!" i mean, its engine really was overheated and was smoking and was probably on fire for a quick second.

Yeah. I did get the irresponsibility tirade from the parents.
I need a new car by...
SOON.
Damn.
Now i know how people who have no means of transportation feel like...again.

On the bright side, i just rediscovered a lot of friends with blogspots.
And they're freaking funny. Thanks Jodz. Those .GIFs really made my day. Especially the freaking Palin one...

She is such an idiot.
I was watching the Daily Show yesterday and they were trying to discern the difference between "Real America" and "Anti-America."
Since when was reality an issue of Infinite Crisis?
Daily Show 10/20/08


I absolutely loved his bashing on Right-Wing propaganda and useless tactics to sway middle-class voters. And Wasilla. Damn, that was good. Alaskan Independent Party!? Wow. That's absolutely hilarious.

Well, that's fair and dandy, but i've got to solve my car problems soon. Anyone got a hookup on a fairly cheap 240sx or anything of that quality? I've got 3k to spend and i'm willing to spend around that.

Meanwhile,
I've been bored as hell at work. Someone save me from that 6 square foot prison with something amazing to look at on their blogs or whatnot. My iPhone is my only source of sanity in that hellhole. Please help.

;D
-Matt.A

Pains in the Body and Mind

I love breakdancing.
I hate breakdancing.

Ok, today was an eventful, yet uneventful day.
I've got aches and pains over my shoulders and arms and hands and hips and calves. etc.
I've also got a sore mouth.

I hate braces.
I obviously don't love braces.
I have rubber bands now.

Practicing for breakdancing is wholly fulfilling and entirely painful in the following hours and days. Despite feeling progress happening, there is a lot of tumultuous agony in the following.
I don't feel like writing entire paragraphs, the way i am wont to do.
I blame it on the unpleasant soreness in my mouth due to a visit to my local orthodontist.
Ahhhhhh. Is the sound my mouth makes.

Another pain arises and makes itself known: the pain of emotional torment

My mind has been suffering lately and no, not because of midterms.
I put myself through excruciating distress because i am in love.
Though torturous and harrowing, i take in this pain because it is so near and dear to me.
It is so hard, yet so enticingly easy to fall in love, and then you realize.
You realize that, no matter how painful or agonizing, when that love is one-sided, you cannot fall out of love. No matter how hard you may try.

I miss the feeling of love.
It grips me at night, in the solace of my pillows and tears me to shreds. Every single night of loneliness.
I may not look the part, but i am a hopeless romantic and a horrible Romeo.

It's an offbeat thought, i must admit, especially following my weekend of extreme excitement; but alas, the person who i wished to share it with, whom i told of my escapades later, really wished she could've accompanied me.
I felt a pull on my heartstrings when she said that. Not only because i'm madly in love, but because i'm madly in love with her.

Sheesh.

One song encompasses what i'm feeling right now:
Details in the Fabric.

"If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it..."
-Jason Mraz.

And sure enough, i will face it. Friday. My heart is broken in more ways than i can mend, maybe even in more ways than any person can mend. But i know who i am. I can hold my own. I know that, despite the agonies of life and love, everything should be fine.

But nothing is fine. Nothing is alright.

"I'm signing myself up for suicide,
So take a ride, Yes, just take a ride on,
The roller coaster of life and love,
We'll be looking down while looking up,
Our Hearts are below but our hands are above,
And neither of us knows...What's up."
-Matt.A

FOXY [DTF!!!] or "I Opened for Dashboard Confessional and All I Got Were These Awesome Pictures!"

So here's the story. In it's entirety. Of the most amazing night I've ever had, in my entire life, basically EVER.

It all started Saturday evening, with me being at a debut practice. I get a text from my friend with the awesome Mohawk in the above picture.

Ian "Hey How You Doin'!?" Finch: Dude! Call me asap. Super ugent! Lol. Nothing bad. something super exciting. Call me!!

And sure enough, a couple hours after receiving the text, i am curious enough to call. I call around 6 or 7ish because i was in practice. He asks me what i'm doing tomorrow, Sunday the 12th. I answer the penultimate answer of boredom, "Nothing." He cracks my weekend wide open, telling me that he's got tickets to the Panic! at the Disco/Dashboard Confessional concert. Plain White T's and the Cab are also performing. Obviously, i'm a total crazy freak for Panic! and Hands Down is one of the best songs on acoustic guitar that i've heard, besides Wonderwall, Wonderwall, More Than Words, and Wonderwall. I say, "Hell Yes, Muthaeffer." I wonder if he wants to wear the outfit that we both coincidentally happened to buy at American Eagle, on the same night, complete with matching banana boxers. I also ask him if i can bring a friend, because after hearing that a certain person had fallen deeply in love with Chris Carrabba and Dashboard Confessional, i wondered if an offering of an amazing night with her future husband would allow her to spend time with me.





In the mirror at American Eagle in Natomas.
Me: This is not awkward at all.
[Borat voice]: "This suit is-a NAHHHT GAY!"





I am excited the whole night, for the next night, and bring my brother with me to my friend's house to chill till' 11, watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall drooling over Kristin Bell and Mila Kunis. I return him home at 11, as promised to my parents, and attempt to find something late night and spicy.

Ok, i got Taco Bell, and brought Bam Bam back to his house. I ended up playing Bioshock till 6, not falling asleep until 7:33. Yes, i realize that was ridiculous. At least it wasn't Call of Duty 4. ;3

I wake up to some commotion in the kitchen and everyone is cooking breakfast. I look at the clock and i had been asleep for 3 horas. Great. Bambino gets a call on his house phone, and it is BeTo, asking if Bammers could accompany him and two others for some Rock Band tournament action at Best Buy; Winner of the tournament would get a limo ride to, coincidentally, the Dashboard/Panic! concert, and would furthermore play a set on Rock Band 2 onstage, in front of thousands of people. Unfortunately Bam was unavailable to do it, by way of him not being of legal age. T_T However, i was presently very willing, despite the fact i had tickets already.

Notwithstanding, the whole previous night i attempted to send texts to the person i wanted to bring to the concert, being luckless at the attempt and receiving no texts back. Meh.

I meet up with the rock band....band(?) at 3:20 and we discuss tactics. We agree on doing flips and being really cool. That's a good tactic, i hear. We proceed to do a practice game and we do The Middle, by Jimmy Eat World. I hold back, but everyone else goes crazy getting 90s and i with a 78%. I said TONE IT DOWN! lolz. But we hang back before the competition starts and we decide on playing Linkin Park's One Step Closer. We perform as Mom's Favorite, the name created by BeTo. We get on and i am the singer, getting ready for the flips and the song. The song starts and when the drums come in, i do an aerial from stage left to stage right, which is how small the area is...Even with moving the drum set like All the way into the corner, i still almost got a foot in the big screen tv. ;D But it still felt good. And when it came time to the "Shut Up" part of the song is when we decided to set up me flipping over the guitarist's back. Yes, it was amazing. I must admit. We get a 100% a 99% a 94% and a 91%, which is great, and we get 175 style points, which i am slightly steamed about, because the maximum was 200. What!? Jumping over your bandmates and maintaining a 99% isn't good enough for awesome, huh? Our score is 562 and we have to take it. The next band is named Hoopty Doopty and the Dump Trucks. Yeesh. Their drummer looks like Dwight from The Office, their bassist looks like the illegitimate child of the 70s and Hawaii, wearing White slacks, white platform shoes, a red Hawaiian shirt, and for the piece de resistance, a black painter's hat. If he had the goatee of the singer, he'd be rocking the 50s look even HARDER. But apparently, doing well in the game and doing tricks while performing is menial compared to looking like David Bowie or Disco Stu. I was on tilt. When it was all over, we were second because Hoopty and the Dump got the maximum amount of style points. Yeesh. Ok enough of a segue, let's get to the nitty gritty.

I was pissed and left the tournament screaming at the social injustice that had just ensued. That's MY DREAM!!!
i wanted to play on the same stage as Chris Carrabba and Panic! at the Disco!!! All over some horrible looking shoes.

So i proceed to ask Bam to come, which he happy obliges to accompany me. We drive to Arco Arena around 6ish, and we meet up with Ian, and other friends, Drew and Tyler. I'm telling them the heartbreak that is life, explaining what had happened at Best Buy and the stupid 2nd place. They're like, it's ok dude, we're here and we're going to watch them anyways. Mid-sentence, i stop them and look to my right after we're all inside Arco. There's a sign that says, "Rock Band 2 Experience! Audition and get a chance to perform onstage live!"

Thank you! THANK YOU GOD!!!

I announce that God has given me a second chance and convince the guys that we can do this. Obviously, we all play Rock Band, so there was no second thought. Everyone knew that this would be an awesome thing whether we won or not. So, we signed up for a practice round first. And guess what our band name was?

DTF!!!

hehehehe.
Yes, it's exactly what you're thinking. No, you don't have a dirty mind for thinking it.

Anyways, so Ian comes up with the name and we play a few practice games. Just some boring things to get used to the game before we go for the real deal. I'm just getting my head back into playing after the devastating loss that happened earlier, still wearing the lanyard i got from best buy that said, "Rock Band - Musician." So we go up to do the actual live audition, and we get one practice song before we've got to perform the real song for them. So, i convince them that we should do Linkin Park again, because that's the only song i like to do. They're like, but dude, Lit makes a good song too. FUCK, I REALLY DON"T LIKE THAT SONG.

Anyways, before we're about to do the actual audition, the auditioner(?) comes up to me and says, "Hey you performed at Best Buy earlier didn't you?" and i just thought it was some chill comment like, hey that's cool. But actually the intent was much more sinister. I answer, yeah, how did you know? It's because i'm still wearing the lanyard and it's swinging around like an elephant trunk or a badge of honor. He says that because i auditioned earlier, i can't do another audition!

FUCK!

What the hell! No freaking way is this happening again. He's explaining that if i did audition earlier in the day, that i can't do another, because then EVERYONE who auditioned earlier should get another chance to perform. I'm begging him that this is my dream man, don't break it into thousands of pieces! So he goes away for a second while we're contemplating what the FUCK the rest of the band's going to do. They need another singer, who is as crazy as me, with the freaking passion. Unfortunately Bam STILL can't do any entertaining because he is still a minor. Freaking fracking frackcaloo. But sure enough, Mr. Rock Band Roadie comes back and tells me, "Alright, here's the deal. You hide that lanyard, make sure i don't see you wearing it, and you can audition again."

TOUCHHHHDOWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNN BROWNNNNNSSSSS!!!


Lolz. After a sigh of relief, i throw the lanyard to Bam and we continue our rampage of rock through the audition. More jumping, more screaming, more Linkin Parking. Etc. We wait in anxious expectation, because a lady will be back with the results. I'm like hopping in anticipation of what the results are going to be because after that heartbreak at Best Buy, and not being able to bring that certain someone, I'm totally down for some amazing news. Sure enough, the lady comes back with a whiteboard and some writing on it.

The Band that will play onstage is...
*flips whiteboard*
DTF!!!

*uproar from us in the crowd*
I'm jumping everywhere and running around like i'm Speedy Gonzales, or a hyperactive child that is learning that peeing in the bushes in much more fun than peeing in a toilet. Or something like that. We get briefed on what will happen later when we're going to perform. Behind us, though, Plain White T's is already doing their set. Oh well. I didn't really come to see them anyways. So we wait around for the main backstage person, while i'm breaking in the pavilions to get rid of my extra energy. Hehehehe. Plain White T's is playing a song i recognize, which is very appropriate to the situation...


FINALLY IT"S OUR TIME NOWWWWWWWWW!!!

Yeah, that's pretty funny. We can only take one person backstage with us, so we bring Ian's sister, whom he has to take care of. I say sorry Bam, but you're not meeting Chris today.
While we're waiting around for more briefing, i notice that the band that freaking beat me today is playing on the audition stage, without a singer. I motion to the band telling Ian, Drew, and Tyler, "That's Fucking Them." We're dogging on them because their singer is nowhere to be seen, the guy is STILL wearing those freaking David Bowie platforms, and Dwight still looks like Dwight. "They're horrible, dude they actually kind of suck." and etc.
Finally, the coordinator comes over and tells us to gather, both us and Hoopty Doopty. He tells us what the protocol will be; we're going to follow him to the service elevator and we're going to get even more briefing there. So we're walking and i'm excited and anxious and nervous as hell. But i don't want to betray those feelings to my bros. We get downstairs and it's really the downstairs of Arco. Wow. It's big down here. This lady has the final explanation of everything and tells us what the exact protocol and regulations that we have to follow. Just because we're backstage doesn't mean we get to go willy-nilly and greet every artist we see. We can't stop them for pictures or autographs and basically we're only backstage so that we can segue into the mainstage. Meh. So we're walking to the actual stage and we're hugging and jumping and getting all excited trying to get the butterflies out. Dude. We're going to have fun, and we're going to be rock stars. Holy jeez. We see the cab's dressing room and pass by, uneventfully. So DTF gets backstage first. They ask us what DTF stands for and obviously we say, "It stands for Drew, Tyler, and Finch. I'm just the exclamation points because i'm the energy!"

Right. ;3


We're waiting backstage while Plain White T's is finishing up their set and we're just taking it all in. The enormity of the situation is absolutely breathtaking. This is the silhouette of the backstage while we're trying to swallow our fear of choking.
i remember us just hugging and being brothers, just reveling in the moment of success, and the fact that we're here. We've made the big time. Finally it's OUR time now.


So the Plain White T's finish singing Hey There Delilah and they start to come backstage. Unfortunately, we aren't allowed to get autographs or pics so we just say, "Great Job, Guys!" They're very humble and just say, thanks guys. Wow. We just said what's up to Plain White T's. I'm already feeling like a rock star.So we finally get our chance to get on stage. Holy jeez. It's bright as hell up there. We're getting familiarized with the stage. Damn, that drum set looks CRAZY! We walk around the Rock Band Kit, and i look into the crowd.
Oh. My. Savior. Thousands of faces of people standing shoulder to shoulder on the floor and hundreds more in the seats. I'm blown away. And even more, when we've picked up our instruments and get ready to Rock Band it up, multiple girls in the crowd scream and yell, "Oh SHIT, those guys are HOT!" I oblige the comment with a wink to the girl and a wave to the crowd. The girl and the rest of the crowd screams. I feel like a Rock Star. Oh S#!7. So the announcer is talking and his name is "Ridiculous"... Meh. I've heard worse. *Cough*HooptyandtheDump*cough* So we choose One Step Closer, by Linkin Park. We choose the difficulty. Oh my God, this is really happening. [I'm shaking in my seat, right now as i'm typing this into the Blog. Even just thinking back and recalling how i felt is making me shake with nervousness and anxiety. I was living my DREAM.] And the song starts...


[Enter Awesome Pictures Mode (Thanks Megan!)]

DTF!!! *SCREAMS*

This is us getting situated. Onstage. Opening for Dashboard Confessional. Supposedly we're hot. I do a little toprock to let some butterflies loose. I get a cheer from the crowd. ;D
"I Cannot Take This Anymorrrrreeeeeeee..."
"All These Thoughts They Make No Sense..."

"Just like beforeeeeeeee."

EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO MEEEEEEEE!!!!

We're finally comfortable on stage and rocking it.

I, uh, got really into it and threw my hat. That's what happens when you're a rock star.

I Find Bliss in Ignorance!

SHUT UP WHEN I"M TALKING TO YOU!!!!!!

[/Awesome pictures mode]

All in all, our dreams came true. We saw the rest of the show. No one liked the band, Hoopty Doopty and the Dump Trucks, that came on after us. They were WACK comparative to our stature in the audience's eyes. And i felt amazing. So did the rest of DTF!!!. We walked off feeling like effing HEROES. Well, i did anyways. I gave some lucky girl my hat. And we performed in front of thousands of people. And we opened for DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL!!! OMG. I feel like a rock star just saying that.

Well, thanks to the guys in DTF!!!, Ian, Drew, and Tyler. I couldn'tve done it without you guys because then we wouldn't be DTF. We'd be something stupid.
Thanks to the auditioner guy who let me audition anyways, you're a beast.
Thanks to BeTo for calling me a couple hours before the Best Buy tournament. What a pal.
Thanks to Bam Bam for letting me play Bioshock until 7 in the morning. I got to see the sunrise.
Thanks to Arco Arena for being a "Foxy" place to be. Chris Carrabba says Foxy when describing Sacramentans.
Thanks to Rock Band 2 for making our dreams come true.
Thanks to the Cab, Plain White T's, Dashboard Confessional, and Panic! at the Disco for coming to Arco to play for everyone in the area. You guys are swell.
And Thanks God, for letting me play onstage with my friends and for giving me the opportunity of a lifetime. I had fun. A whole lot of fun. This is perhaps the greatest moment of my short life and i'm going to live it UP until people forget that i opened up for Dashboard Confessional. A lot of newfound confidence and emotions have sprung up that i wouldn't have tapped into if it weren't for this. I am so amazed and blessed by what had happened that night, and i know i'll NEVER EVER forget it.

-Sincerely your Rock Star,
Matt.A [DTF!!!]






P.S.
I love you, Jo(h)n for renewing my love for Dashboard Confessional. Hands Down, you are one of the best persons I know. Besides Jesus. Jo(h)n, i don't know if you know it, but you're my hero. And i don't know if i care how you feel, because i know how i do. *sigh* Never fall in love with someone who doesn't love you.

Oh, I'm sorry. Have i been neglecting you?

I realize that i haven't written anything meaningful in here in a very long time. Sure i post pictures of enlarged stomachs and Joker munny, but at the end of the day, you want to be able to read something thats inspiring and enlightening. I don't want to sound like Kevin Smith, of Jay and Silent Bob fame, in his book A Boring-Ass Life where he entrenches his audience with verbosity and copious amounts of humdrum details about his life. He even spills his life into an online diary, much like a blog, but more or less about the events that he's going to speak at, such as "An Evening with Kevin Smith," and, "Silent Bob Speaks." It's not even that i don't like his memoirs; no, i enjoy reading about the adventures of others and i can appreciate going through the motions of other people's lives, but man how many details can you pack into one day without becoming tedious about it?

Anyways, not trying to be a hypocrite, but i do tend to be a bit wordy when it comes to my daily grind, so i apologize, Kevin Smith.

However, i haven't written in here since September. Month of my birth, oh favorite of months. But now it is October, and fall has come, and yet it still feels like i'm DYING OF HEAT STROKE. Come on, Mother Nature!

MOTHER!
;D

I feel like it's time to be wearing long sleeves and pull overs around this time, but Mother's like, "Hell naw you ain't! You need to weather another season of hot weather!" Ok, i don't understand why Mother Nature sounds like an angry black woman, but she DOES ok!? This is my writing and, "i do what i want!" (Cartman)

Ok that was shameful and distasteful. Sorry for having to implicate anything South Park related in this publishing. I like animation, and i admit to laughing at South Park here and there for their vulgar remarks and hilarious off-color comments about such topics as 300 and World Of Warcraft, but never again should i refer to anything remotely near South Park.

So Anyways...
I went to the club for the first time yesterday. Yes, strange, right? Someone like me you expect to be a regular club consort/patron, but no. Yesterday, i felt my club cherry pop. That sounds like a soda! Club Cherry Pop, available in diet and regular. Coming to stores near you NEVER. So, the implications of this unceremonious fiasco all started when, after a Magic tournament, my good friend comes to me after the tournament and asks me, "Hey dude, do you want to go to the club today?"

Me being a friend who doesn't like to say no, says yes, "I am down, like FUNKYTOWN."
He responds with, "Down like a clown, Charlie Brown!"

Yes, these are real life testimonials. You heard it here first folks; down like a clown, Charlie Brown.

So, me being in good spirits because i won the tournament, joyously obliges and we make plans for tonight. He tells me, "Dude, you're like the only one i can really ask to go to the club, because everyone is kinda....Meh." And of course, i'm totally ok with going to the club being that i'm a dancer, i'm open for spontaneity, and i am a total extrovert; or at least i thought i was. He's obviously stoked, because he doesn't want to go alone, and he tells me he's going because he's going to meet up with a girl that is slightly interested in him. Hm. That's fair. So i am now an official Wingman.

So i get all gussied up, wearing four layers, beater, v-neck, white dress shirt, and grey long-sleeved sweater from American Eagle. Slim Levis and Ed Hardy kicks, included. What? i really wanted to look good dammit! And so all prepared, i get out of the door and walk to my car and some random black chick from my street needs me to drive them to the gas station and back because they're out of gas, but i'm like, sorry miss, i'm late to where i'm going, already, so sorry. I drive to my friend's house in midtown, where he is getting ready for the night out. He's sort of got a gut, so he does the whole, vertical-stripes-with-the-sweater-vest look, and i'm like, chill. So we drive to Barcode, where he works, just not today. He gets us in free and he intro's me to all of his coworkers and we're standing around waiting for the spot to pick up. It's about 10:30 and it's still kind of dead. Huh, go figure. So i'm walking around, following my friend, debating whether or not i'm going to look for prospects or commiserate in my current problems. In the early hours i'm doing the latter, standing around with my boy, not doing shit. Eventually the dance floor becomes packed, and i decide that I should forget about my problems tonight and fucking have fun.

So i keep walking around. We're playing, "Your Team." Don't ask. Unless you really want to. My friend and i have a serious conversation about club etiquette. Do you ask the girl to dance or do you straight up put your crotch on her butt and expect her to shake it? Yeah, i suck at this. It's my first time!

Eventually i gather the courage to walk up to this group of mostly white girls and i'd been eying this short, great looking, girl. I don't actually ask, but instead, experiment and just walk up and dance with the girl that is the most active, hoping that i end up in their circle. Sure enough, she dances with me, albeit not all-up-on-me, which i can appreciate. Eventually, i'm dancing in the club with a group of fairly pretty women. I offer my hand to the short girl i was especially eying, hoping she'll dance with me. She's fairly shy and declines. I gesture a "That's fine," and keep dancing in their group. My friend is hella funny and we start doing such classics as the Dice Shake, The Q-Tip, the Shopping Cart, and the ever-favorite, The Sprinkler. Oh God, why? Laughing out loud, we continue to dance when this guy my friend and i spotted earlier in the back of the club, dancing by himself, starts dancing near us. And by dancing we mean, Hip-thrusting with serious emphasis on Hip. Yeesh. This guy needed some meds...or a reality check. He looked like he could use an oxygen tube and some Diazepam. Anyways...

So he starts sucking up all the girls in our group because he's freaking hilarious. Watching him caused me to throw my head back in laughter and disgust. It was a mixture of disdain and agony and mirth. And so my friend is like, DUDE BATTLE HIM!!! Round 1 FIGHT SHIT!

Uh, no. I have too much self-respect for that. And yet, when all of the girls start to egg me on and tell me to battle this guy who is obviously too old for the club, and probably the senior night at bingo, for that matter, i happily oblige, being all jovial in spirit and all. Luckily he doesn't understand what i'm trying to do, so i break off and let the women do their dancing. My friend and i back off and watch. I try to ask this cute looking asian woman for a dance, expecting etiquette to win, and of course she declines.

The ladies decide to walk off because they're hot, not necessarily in looks but in temperature, and my friend is telling me to go and follow them. Obviously, i don't want to be creepy, but i don't want to be alone in the club, so i have to follow my friend. On the way out to the patio, i see my old co-worker and friend, Ashley and she walks in looking really good. She happens to have an amazing looking friend, with a cute looking afro, walking beside her. I'm dancing by myself, and she comes up to me with her friend and says, Hey I KNOW you! And i remember her as well, and she gives me a hug and we introduce our friends to each other and she vows to have a dance with me later. i agree and we go our separate ways in the club.

I end up walking around again, vowing to look for prospects, but in reality am thinking about a certain someone, someone that i should be trying to forget because i'm in the club, but alas, her pull over me is much too strong. However, i decide to stop with the melancholy thoughts, and go and find Ashley. My friend and i look for the cute girl in the big afro and we spot her. It's like Where's Waldo!? but in the club. Anyways, i find them, we dance for a song or two, i try to chill with them but it's slightly difficult seeing as how the dance floor offers about an inch or two of personal space. We end up exchanging info, and etc. so i end up chilling on a stairway and they are at the top of the stairs. I feel kind of awkward afterwards and walk back to where my friend might be and he talks me into dancing with that group of cute white girls. Heheh. I hear, "You'll be my American Boy..." and i'm dancing in their circle again.

The cute short girl i've been eying is still looking awkward but is starting to open up and her girls tell me, Hey it's good for your first time right!? And i exclaim, Hey, today is my first time too. Ok more like nonchalantly offer as matter-of-factly. And we exchange smiles and continue dancing. Eventually they leave around 1 and i'm left alone with my friend again. We're walking around trying to find some sort of prospect, and i'm looking at this slightly-ghetto looking filipina girl. Her friend notices me and my friend spotting them and she straight up walks to us, and eyes us really grossly. And my friend and i look at each other, then burst into laughter. That was amazingly funny.

I almost mark our night over, and see Ashley and her friend being wallflowers. I obviously take the opportunity to try and dance with her friend, with the amazing afro. So this is perhaps the only time of the night where i feel like the night was not meaningless. We start to dance and i get closer and closer, and now we're intertwined like we're lovers. We rock and bump and grind like there's no one else in the room and i finally understand what the club is for. Then we get ridiculed by our friends and calm down. lolz. But when she's on the wall, i'm suddenly attracted to her and get on her and i've pinned her against the wall and once again we're grinding like we're making bread. She puts her leg around me and i keep going. But then we get tired and stop. I try to stay around, but we're just on the wall now. And my friend wants to leave. So we end up going after saying my goodbyes to Ashley and her friend. Just because of that moment in time when we thought of nothing but each other, i feel like i had a reason of being there. Strange, but true.

We leave and in the car reminisce the hilarious moments in the club...Hypes!
The horrible guy dancing and sucking up the girls. Hip shaking to the extreme.
Unsightly women in the club. The whole reason for, "Your Team."
Talking to the guys working there. Cool guys, the whole lot of them.
The amazing looking white girls. May i never forget your faces. Though i probably will.
Ashley and her friend. I wish i could remember your name, miss. I had a great time.

And of course the disappointments...Gripes...
Sean, not being able to see the girl who "supposedly" is interested in him. Hella left him hanging.
The horrible dancers. Yeesh.
The guy who had a serious face and only did the "Pelvic Thrust." Yeesh.
The dude who almost started a fight because he didn't want to leave peacefully.
The guy wearing the same outfit as Sean. What a bitch-ass mugger.
Another horrible guy, but Asian, and trying much too hard.

All in all, something i'd be willing to do again. I tried to call people to come through, but alas, i have no friends. Just kidding. I have no friends that can make it to clubs, or answer their phones. Thanks for trying PCS! I love you!

Meanwhile...I've been breaking and playing Magic again, so hopefully my hobbies pull me out of my misery. I won the last two Magic tournaments i went to. Yay me? Still no flare or windmills however. I CAN'T LET JANELLE WIN!!!

Catch you guys on the other side of the pillow. P.S. Stay Cool.
-Matt.A

elihwneaM...
Bam, you're an amazing brother dude, and i'm so glad that we can put up with each other enough to hang out every other night. ; 3
Derelict Expedition made me sleepy.
Thanks for being awesome dude. I'll see you in like...twenty minutes.

That would be the enlarged version of my Stomach...

Joker in His Completely Evil Splendor

What is "Bitchass-ness?"

Who knows?

I made it up one day and thought, there is no complete noun form of the action of being the word, "Bitchass."

You know what sparked it? My friend telling me that she got a text and she replied calling her friend a Bitchass.

Wait, what?

Oh, that's right. I also saw it on a random shirt on a random guy randomly walking through CRC. elC grove's Random College. Yeah that didn't really make any sense. *tough crowd*

Did you hear the one about the Bitchass?

Yeah she had a case of Bitchassness.

*cricket cricket*

I guess if i were to suddenly decide that an entry for Bitchassness needed to slide itself in the annals of www.urbandictionary.com, it would stand for:

1. The constant act of being a Bitchass

2. Being one having an ancestry of a female dog and a gluteus maximus or an anal excrement exit

3. The act of being someone who doesn't please another or doing something to upset many people

Sigh*

I'm not compelled to write about this. I just wanted to put an entry in here because i deemed it awkward after i put that Joker Munny in here, but i had nothing real to back it up. I guess that was an act of Bitchassness on myself. Thanks self.

Another act of Bitchassness is actually wearing the shirt with said word on it, preceded by a NO. That's a stupid shirt. Why would you wear something so seemingly futile, and yet so eloquently describing yourself in one simple word, albeit you trying very hard to negate it with a "NO" in front of it?

imagine if you saw someone walking towards you with this shirt... 

Would you:

A. Congratulate them on being an idiot, like an uptight cynic

B. Punch them in the head and run away, like a true bitchass

C. Do neither and walk past him, like a passive bitchass

D. Tell him to stop with his bitchassness and tell him to change his shirt.

Just some rhetorical questions. And by rhetorical, i mean this is going to be in a poll. 

: )

Head: Completed!

This is the kind of activity that ensues when you're (almost) guaranteed nothing to do at work.

Gogogadget boredom. I only got through an hour and forty minutes doing the head. I wished that i could've spent even MORE time, but then i would've been really extensive with my work and exhaustive in detail, even MORE so than i already have been. Yeesh. And i've been leaning heavily towards the use of Yeesh and Sheesh lately. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Anyways, if you already couldn't tell, this is Dark Knight Joker. Someone at work thought it was Beetlejuice. Yeesh. I can't believe people still even THINK about that retired pop icon.

All the way from 1988. Jay-Z said, "I'm still spending money from '88"

I was born in 1988.

Uh tangentrine?

Goodnight, people. 

Sincerely, 

Matt.A

28 is just too much...(Or The Long Goodbye, Hair)

I'm sorry for those that don't appreciate colorful, insensitive language. Which is why the title happens to be, "28 is just too much..."

I actually counted and the F-word count happened to tally up to 28 uses in my last blog. Yeesh. Maybe if i halved it, then it would be 14, which happens to be a good number...So sorry to you readers that didn't like the uninspired writing. I'll try to tone it down when i'm angry. And now i'm depriving myself of sleep again, because writing is so important to me and i find that it's a good way to release...everything.

Whether it's stress, anger, joy, sorrow, basically any emotion that you feel you can convey through writing, is a beautiful release because we are all intertwined within a beautiful struggle.

On a lighter note, i decided to end the streak of allowing my hair to grow unimpeded. For seven odd months, i let my tresses continue to grow out of my scalp. At first, it was just something to do, something to take my mind off of the day's struggles. And eventually it became something of a fascination, because i had so many opposing this seasonal look for me - which i don't understand.

What is it about the way someone looks that causes such a dramatic reaction from random people? First it was my mother, who constantly prodded me to cut the thatches of hair. Then it became others, like the rest of my family. Thanks everyone, for being OH SO supportive of my newest decision. Yeesh. Even my grandma would make fun of me, albeit in an entirely different language, so i would have to assume her overtones of displeasure and her indignant remarks were negative comments towards this new hairstyle. 

Yes, inang. My buhok is nagatidog. Whatever that means. Inang, i know what "pangit" means.

Anyways, this refusal of cutting, trimming, disposing of, getting rid of my hair became more than a stand to guard my freedom of style. It became more; It became a rebellion against the traditional views that my ENTIRE family decided to plant squarely upon my shoulders. When in reality it all started with me wanting to grow my hair out again because i was depressed and didn't feel like cutting my hair.

Despite this lack of support, i persevered for however long i had decided to stay strong. But eventually, once the pathetic attempts to get me to clip my long, flowing locks started to slow from a steady stream into a light trickle, when i suddenly felt like i had no reason to hold onto this weight that was, literally, on my shoulders. (chuckle)

And so, with Bambeezy in tow, we had an adventure to TanMan's garage/barbershop to make Robot.M look like Orlando Bloom...Yes, i had looked up hairstyles prior to venturing to TanMan and happened to stumble across Orlando Bloom Post-Pirates of the Caribbean. He has a slightly long faux-hawk but styled to look more uptown-chic or what have you...

Yeah that sounded really out of my character. I became obsessed with hairstyles when i finally decided i wanted to cut it. No problem with a little research before an important decision. Sheesh.

Anyways, so i decided to go with the Bloom look, faux-hawk and all. Unfortunately, that meant cutting off my tail of Jedi-joke-fame-for-years. I've had that tail on and off since freshman year of HIGH SCHOOL. Wowzers. That wasn't difficult at all. Oh wait, yeah it was. 

After finally getting the cut i wanted, and styling it the way i remembered, it was as if a weight had been lifted from me, literally and figuratively. I mean, i did have a symbolic reason for cutting my hair, but mainly it was just for a change of pace y'know?

But cutting my hair has led me down many different pathways. It's as if the loss of hair was a catalyst for the rest of changes that are going through my current life.

I cut my hair, and suddenly my life seems much more light-hearted.

I cut my hair, and suddenly my style of clothes has differed critically from the past looks.

I cut my hair, and suddenly it's as though my attitude towards life has become much MUCH different. I almost feel comfortable and complacent with life. It's an awkward but comforting feeling, regardless.

I literally feel like a new man. Which is strange, because it doesn't feel like i've done much to change, but rather, my life has melded and evolved around me without me noticing much because it was such a quick process that i am not used to; usually my thought process is a lengthy, protracted course that i am following not of my own free will, but of nature's will, Nay, rather God's will.

Through my depression, i've learned to pray much less selfishly and more selflessly. My faith has grown...tenfold, twenty fold, twenty-eight fold? I've been much more pious as a result of me struggling through my despondency. And as a despondent, it seems as though this recession of mine may potentially be a "Good Thing Tm" (in my context) because of what it's made me think of, not of what it's made me sad about.

Excuse my horrible picture up there. But i had to do it. I'm in a slightly comical mood because my life is that sad...

Comically unsound,

Matt.A

Fuck Life. There...I said it.

My sentiments are conveyed perfectly through those two amazingly succinct words, used in unison. Fuck, as in to be treated harshly...or sexual intercourse, and Life, which is the amazing mystery that no one can unfold, which is the obvious existence of our futile lives.

And yet, to fuck life is wrong.

For Life is a bitch...and it's too short.

Therein lying the problem. She (it?) is a bitch. I absolutely despise using the word "bitch" unless it's used un-judgmentally or in a colloquial exchange between two peers which accept the word "bitch." However, this word, this seemingly innocuous yet perturbingly (not even a real English word, but who gives a fuck) disturbing word, would describe very accurately the term "Life."

After brushing my teeth after eating an ungodly amount of Taco Bell items at an ungodly hour after an ungodly wait after receiving our said Taco Bell items, i finally see the solace in the screaming...

It all dates back to when i was with my Favorite Former Girlfriend, Michelle. I went to my first, FIRST concert with her; The main performers were Gym Class Heroes, with some random starting acts, which included K-Os, some guy who rapped like Atmosphere/Slug, and some random rock bands.

While we were in line, waiting to get into this fairly underground, yet surprisingly swanky spot called Boardwalk. I specifically remember asking Michelle, "Hey so when are we leaving for Santa Cruz?" And obviously she's like, "WTF, no the concert's in Sacramento. There's a spot called Boardwalk."

And obviously i feel fucking lethargic.

Anyways, so we're waiting in line, and i notice that there are two random tour buses to the side of the building. And i'm like, "Cool, must be the opening acts' buses..."

And, of course, to my surprise, Desashi, the guitarist from GCH, steps out of the farthest bus and skates away to the backstage.

"HOLYCRAPTHATWASDESASHI!," I automatically exclaim. Freaking going teenage-girl postal, i try to calm it down. But of course, i go fucking bananas when, ten minutes later, Travis aka Travie aka the fucking LEAD SINGER for GCH, comes out of the tour bus nearest to us, and starts to clean up the area around the buses. He comes across some random strewn across shoeboxes, with a pair of shoes in them, no doubt. He immediately yells to the people waiting in line, "Hey, who wants a pair of free shoes!?"

FUCK! THOSE ARE MINE YOU DELUSIONAL STARSTRUCK LINEGOERS! BACK, YOU FUCKS! ALL OF YOU!

Ok, so i didn't fucking destroy the building or anything but i do remember just jumping up and down to get his attention, going freaking Cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs...

And he yells to me, since he's like twenty to thirty feet away,

"They're size 11!"

"YEAH!"

"They're Etnies!"

"ALRIGHT!"

"OK, here you go!"

"OH FUCK!!!"

He throws the shoes and, in mid-air i think, "Fuck, how am i going to make this look graceful..?" So i catch one and the other hits the floor, and i immediately look up to see if i'm about to get my ass Bumrushed or some shit, but luckily i don't.

Whew*

And so, as such, being the lucky benefactor of free shoes from Travis himself, i flip my lid. I say such statements as,

"Damn, i got free shoes and shit, Fuck the Show! I'm about to go put these up in my ROOM!!!"

Michelle, being the worrywort that she was, reprimanded me for my generous usage of colorful language. And by generous usage, i mean, i fucking fucked that shit up.

But anyways, we eventually get in, and Michelle's sister and her friend go to the bar to go avoid the hype in the crowd. But being that it was my first concert, i decided to live it up a little and move near the center.

I remember seeing the rapper that was slightly reminiscent of Atmosphere, with his anti-Bush/Gov't-in-general lines that were yelled a little too loud to be discerned by much of the majorly white crowd. I remember specifically listening to his verse when he, and some random guy right behind me who shouts the line along with the rapper but specifically into the back of my head, yells,

"Just because you've got feathers up your butt, doesn't make you a chicken..."

I was freaking chuckling it up after that shit.

A few acts after him was K-Os, who is known for such hits as Sunday Morning, Crabbuckit, Bboy Stance, Man I Used to Be, and many others. Ok, ok, i'll admit having listened to a majority of his songs. And by listened, i mean breakdanced, regulardanced, tricked, whatever the hell you wanted to do to it. He makes/made underground b-boy music, and it's pretty good. There's this video for Man I Used to Be...and it's freaking awesome...

Ahhhh. Tangent-rine.

So yeah, K-Os...music...concert. OH, right. So his set wasn't bad per-se; it was just that he didn't play ANY of those aforementioned hits that i had stated earlier. It's as if he needed to change up his style to impress those white yuppies at the Boardwalk. Well, K...i say FUCK THAT.

Or maybe he was just promoting songs ONLY from his new album?

Yeah freaking right...

And then...after K-Os, Michelle and I moved really, really close to front and center of the audience, but of course, everything comes with a catch...

The rock band that i was talking about comes on and ALL of the hardcore anarchists and lovers of guitar riffs and screaming lyrics and double-bass-pedal action rushed the center of the audience.

I specifically remember almost being toppled over. I was holding on to Michelle the way a scared child would hold on to their Raggedy Ann/Andy; i held on for dear life as the crowd started to push and shove to the music. The people jumping on me felt like a 500-pound gorilla started to pound the ground and my back and sides and i felt as though Michelle and I were going to die in this swanky, underground hellhole. But then, i stopped caring about the pushing and shoving. I stopped caring about my jacket getting ripped. I stopped caring about the fucking smelly white people. I stopped caring about everything else in the room except for my GCH shoes, Michelle, and the fucking amazingly loud, but amazingly amazing music.

I literally found solace in the screaming.

I found the rhythm that the people were fucking jumping on us, i found the ebb and tide to their movements. I became one with the push and pull of the rock music. My chest became filled with the bass of the drum and the crunch of the guitar. I felt the music, finally.

And finally, after what seemed like millenia, the rock band finished their set, encores and all, and left. Which, interestingly enough, caused a whole LOT of people to leave the audience. This of course, left me and Michelle to get all the way up in front AND center!!!

ZOMG. And Gym Class was next!!!

I remember them starting their first song, and me screaming like a teeny-bopper. Except manlier and hair under my armpits. Anyways....awkward.

I remember screaming, "TRAVIE!!! YEAHHHH!!!"

I remember singing every single word to New Friend Request. I still can if you want to sing it with me.

I remember going FUCKING CRAZY over Shoot Down the Stars singing every lyric, making hand gestures to the chorus, putting the fucking middle finger up when he would.(still my favorite fucking GCH song of all FUCKING TIME. At least until the new CD releases?)

I remember Travie picking his nose and using his other hand to make a fish hook in his cheek like every other word and it was AMAZING. He was my idol that night, and for many more nights and days and months after that.

I remember kissing Michelle for Scandalous Scholastics and MakeOut Club. ;D

I remember specifically thanking her for bringing me, and for making me feel freaking amazing.

I remember wanting to leave because i thought they were done, and then they fucking did CLOTHES OFF!!! NOOOOO! We left our comfy spots at front and center because we were ready to leave, but then they started with the encore and i was sad. BECAUSE HE CAME DOWN TO THE CROWD!!! AND RANDOM WOMEN WERE ON STAGE!!! GAHHH!!!

Oh well. I just remember a lot from that night. I was so close that i took a picture of him and i could've shown him the picture!

And remembering those moments makes me remember that i'm not happy anymore. Just a shell of my former self. But whatever. I'm trying to be a grown-up. It's starting to work.

I still wish that i could be happy though. I might not be an amazing person, but i could be happier. I wish that i were him.

Well, just remember. Don't Fuck Life. Because it's a bitch and it's MUCH too short.

-Matt.A

P.S. If you buy a fucking pack of cigarettes, i'm not going to talk to you the same way, anymore. I'm serious. You know who you are!!! I understand it's not fair. But so is fucking DYING. If you really care about who i am, then you'll be complacent. I only have two rules in my car:

1. Don't fucking smoke

2. Don't argue with the people in my car unless you're arguing with me, where that will most likely end up with you literally getting kicked the hell out of my passenger seat.

He loves you all so very much. I only choose to love a certain few of you.

In this video, Travis is rapping the lyrics to, "Shoot Down the Stars." Favorite GCH song, to date, besides New Friend Request.

Depicted Above: Picture taken of Travis when Michelle and I are close enough to give him a high five.